My husband is having sex with my sister

23:42
I’m suspecting that my husband is having a secret affair with my younger sister who is also living in our flat.
I cannot prove it because I have not caught them doing anything, but I am sure something is going on here. She is also married, but whenever we happen to be the three of us, like on most mornings when he gives us a lift to work, I always feel this strange tension around us.
His phone has a password so I cannot access his call logs or text messages, but I have never gotten this feeling before since we got married. She no longer likes having long conversations with me, she never looks me in my eye and when I mention him, she gets uneasy and changes the topic very fast.
I think they have been sleeping together in our marital bed. What can I do to catch him? I’m sure something is happening between them and I don’t want to remain the fool in this situation.
Your Take
Rita, this should not bother you much because they may not be having an affair after all. Talk to each of them separately first and if you still think something fishy is going on, talk to both of them together. This will cow them and if they were seeing each other, they will stop. Oyoo Wycklife
Do your investigation and get your evidence before making any move. Use one of your trusted neighbours and friends to spy for you.Wilberforce Atsiaya
Spying on a cheating husband can be both risky and traumatising even though all the signs of cheating are there. Between them, your sister seems to be more reasonable. Talk to her like you have the evidence and see how she reacts. Also examine your sex life in case it is what is making your husband stray.Tasma Charles
I think you are just jealous, which is normal and natural because you are protecting your territory. You no longer have long discussions because there may not be anything worth discussing about. She may have her reasons to change the topic when you discuss your husband, not necessarily because she is having an affair with him. If they are having an affair you will catch them fair and square.Ouma Ragumo
The Counselor Advice
Rita, it must be difficult for you to admit that you suspect your husband is having an affair. The fact that it could be with your younger sister only adds salt to the injury.
If confirmed, this would be double edged betrayal; one, from your sister (who ought to look out for your best interests and who should not have gotten into that situation in the first place) and two, from your husband.
If confirmed, this would be an indication of how irresponsible and insensitive they both are. Your instincts are telling you something is not right. In most cases, instincts do not lie. If you feel strongly about this, then it is possible that something could be going on.
Mistakes
It is said that whenever people do something they should not be doing, they always make mistakes. Illicit affairs are usually anchored on two things; the phone and the Internet.
The phone is always a good starting point because it is the main form of communication. I’m sure they know this, so if they are communicating, they ensure that every trace is removed, but you can never be too.
People may delete the text messages, but more often than not they forget to reset the log counters. Check and see if there is an unnecessarily high number of transactions between them.
You may want to check the traffic on his/her computer, which is usually easy to check using cookies and browsing history. These need to be checked with utmost discretion so as not to raise suspicion.
You may need to look out for more signs, for example, how he reacts when his phone rings, how he talks to her (when people are having an affair, the tone at which they talk to each other is usually different from their normal tone). How he handles her call when you are around? Does he hesitate and look at you before answering?
Cool, calm and collected
To get to the bottom of this, you ought to remain as cool and calm as a dove, otherwise they will take their evidence destruction efforts a notch higher. If you want to catch them, then you have to assure them of your trust.
This way they won’t work too hard to conceal the evidence and soon it will be all out for you to see. However, do not put too much effort to investigate them — they may not be having an affair in the first place.